Posted by: Sarah | May 6, 2008

what we had was so much more…

I woke up early from the hammock in Melissa’s apartment, where I slept very well last night, rather than in the guest room on the rock hard bed that was actually in my apartment last year. The sun is shining over Barranquilla and I look out the windows to the view of the Magdalena River to one side, the Prado neighborhood – where all my friends still live – our frutera, our pool to the other.

By this time last year, I left, wanting so much more. My living situation was far from perfect and I felt restless, wanting to be challenged professionally in a way that I had never found with teaching. I loathed the routine of this city, where everyone knew everyone, our options for going out were limited, and I had all but run out of money to travel. It was time to shake things up. I was ready to move on, first to Bogota, then to New York.

I know that leaving was the right decision at the time, that I had reached a point where I was no longer happy, but it’s so easy to come back and wonder why the hell I gave this all up. Countless facebook messages and emails over the past week have included the words “welcome home”. I have let myself forget that this is only a vacation. A weekend at Tayrona with the gringos isn’t vacation, it’s just what we do. Este es mi vida…. este FUE mi vida. Melissa, Patrycja, Bartira and I went out for chuzo last night and joked, as we always do, about the oximoron that is comida rapida [fast food] in this culture. I have an easy day ahead of me of going to the spa for a facial and mani/pedi, buying a plane ticket to Bogota, coffee at Juan Valdez, dance class at BodyTech, and cooking dinner with friends. That was my life. I miss this culture, where things move slowly and easily. I am torn between two homes of the extreme, and right now I dread going back “home” to New York.

paradise, it ain’t hard to find
just looking out your window at the world outside
paradise, it ain’t far away
here in my head it’s just another day

here in paradise

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